Leading Yourself When Your Boss Is Unpredictable
In university advancement, plenty of things can be unpredictable. Donors change their minds, projects get de-prioritized, budgets shift, and teams change. One thing that doesn’t need to be unpredictable: your boss. Yet many leaders experience exactly this: inconsistent decision-making, micromanaging the small things, or shifting expectations that leave you guessing. Whatever the cause, the outcome is the same: It chips away at confidence, momentum, and the ability to do your best work.
Recognizing these patterns is the first step. The next is learning how to lead yourself effectively when the environment above you is anything but clear.
How to Spot an Unpredictable Boss
Look for patterns (not isolated moments) of behaviors that make it harder to do your work. Common signs include:
Difficulty making decisions or constantly revisiting them
Discomfort with delegating or letting go of details
Wanting visibility into everything you’re doing—then being completely hands off
Limiting your access to key conversations or relationships
Undermining your confidence publicly or privately
Inconsistent reactions: warm in one moment, reactive the next
Many advancement leaders experience some uncertainty in their workplaces. An unpredictable boss demonstrates these behaviors repeatedly, especially under pressure or when expectations intensify.
Working with a boss whose behavior is unpredictable can feel like dancing backward in heels. You’re keeping things moving, but it’s exhausting, disorienting, and—at times—painful.
This inconsistency can stem from fear, unclear expectations, lack of confidence in their role, or pressure from their own leaders. While their behavior is not a reflection of you, it can affect how others perceive your performance or readiness. This is where managing up becomes an essential leadership capacity for your advancement career.
5 Strategies to Lead Yourself When Your Boss is Unpredictable
Keep your boss proactively informed
A boss who creates uncertainty sees the workplace through the lens of their own worries or assumptions. When they feel out of the loop, they may interpret neutral situations as personal threats—leading to overreactions or unnecessary oversight.
You can reduce this tension by offering clarity and context before it’s requested. A brief weekly summary memo via email can achieve this goal. Consider a memo that highlights:
Your top priorities
Progress and next steps
Wins and milestones from the week
The goal is help your boss feel informed and connected to your work—something that helps both of you. This proactive communication builds trust, autonomy, and accountability, all of which are essential traits for advancement team culture.
Keep copies of these summaries. They provide helpful documentation for future conversations or reviews.
2. Strengthen their sense of leadership authority
It might feel counterintuitive, but a boss who is uncertain or reactive might benefit from confirmation of their role. When they feel more confident, they may be less likely to micromanage or react defensively. Look for micro-moments to affirm their leadership without compromising your own voice.
For example:
“Does this direction align with what you have in mind?”
“I’m planning to move forward based on our last conversation. Anything you’d like to adjust?”
In meetings: “I defer to you as the leader here.”
This approach helps create the conditions where your ideas can be heard, and the work can move forward.
3. Acknowledge their strengths (strategically)
Even challenging bosses have strengths. Noticing them and naming it, when appropriate, lowers defensiveness and builds trust.
Try something like:
“You handled that board question really well.”
“Thank you for advocating for our team in the president’s meeting.”
These moments shift attention from what’s missing to what’s working—an important recalibration in any advancement environment.
At minimum, find neutral opportunities to connect as humans on topics such as family, hobbies, or weekend plans. A little rapport can soften difficult dynamics.
4. Reinforce your own strengths and leadership
When your manager doesn’t offer the positive feedback or recognition you deserve, don’t let that diminish clarity about your own value. At the end of each week, take five minutes to reflect on:
What you accomplished
What you learned
What you want to focus on next
Track your wins and accomplishments, whether in the margin of your calendar or in a Bold Move Folder. These remind you of your contributions and strengths, especially when external validation is limited.
This practice also pays dividends during annual reviews, promotion discussions, and future career transitions.
5. Build a strong support network
Build relationships across your advancement department and campus, so you have perspective, partnership, and visibility beyond your direct manager. Invite colleagues for coffee or a walk to learn more about them and their priorities. Look for natural points of collaboration. Participate actively in office activities, such as team retreats, trainings, or cross-functional projects, so you can be visible for other decision-makers in the office. These relationships expand your ability to influence and ensure that one person’s inconsistency doesn’t define how others understand your leadership.
As importantly, nurture your identity outside of work. Whether it’s volunteering, exercise, or creative projects, these outlets help restore the energy you may be spending navigating workplace challenges.
Maintain Your Leadership Effectiveness
You may not be able to change your boss—but you can protect your mindset, your morale, and your momentum. Try these strategies. Give yourself permission to adjust your expectations. Remember, if the environment no longer supports your growth, it’s okay to consider your options.
Until then, trust your skills, honor your contributions, and keep moving forward with intention (heels optional), even when the choreography around you keeps changing.
A previous version of this article was originally published on Fast Company.
If you're navigating complex leadership dynamics in university development and want to lead with more confidence and intention, explore Hocking Leadership’s advisory services designed specifically for advancement executive leaders.
